Becoming a civil celebrant was a career choice I wish I’d made years ago – it is so rewarding to help people mark the most profound and personal moments in life. However, my life experiences have given me an insight that I may not have had as a younger person.
The role is a careful balance of logistics, creativity and human connection.
My input into clients’ special moments starts by getting to know them. Whether it’s a wedding or a funeral, clients are often experiencing emotional highs or lows, so creating a relaxed and safe space is essential.
Putting them at ease so they feel comfortable sharing their stories is the first step in building trust. Every bit of information matters because it helps to build a ceremony that feels unique, personal, and respectful. This applies whether it’s a love story that has led to a wedding or a series of loving memories to be shared at a funeral.
Weaving stories into the ceremony
A talent for storytelling and a keen sense of empathy come into play as the stories become a part of the ceremony. I want to create a ceremony that is engaging, meaningful and runs smoothly, this involves not only setting a structure, but also the script that tells these stories in a way that connects with the people who attend the ceremony.
Whether the words are to uplift and share joy or to lead the family through a difficult day with compassion and grace, it’s essential to ensure that the script is written with care and keeps the ceremony flowing.
The conductor
On the day of the ceremony, the celebrant is the conductor of an orchestra that not only includes the family or couple, but also the flowers, the seating, the sound system (and maybe also video links) and ensuring that everyone involved knows what to expect.
Leading a wedding ceremony I aim to establish a warm and grounded energy and act as a guide for the couple through each stage of their commitment to each other.
A funeral has a different ambience and I need to be a beacon of calm and compassion to support the family and friends through their grief, responding to the needs of those who are present.
After the ceremony
When the ceremony is over, that isn’t the end of the assignment. Checking in with the family after a funeral to offer support or simply check in, is something I like to do and is always appreciated.
After a wedding, offering the ceremony script as a keepsake is often something welcomed by newly married couples.
When I follow up I often receive feedback on how my words and presence impacted the day. This is often one of the most rewarding aspects of the job, as we hear directly how our work helped clients feel understood, supported, and celebrated.
Being a celebrant is a deeply fulfilling, though often challenging, role. It’s one that allows for creative expression and profound connection. Each ceremony is unique portraying a mosaic of the lives, love stories, and legacies of the people I meet. As a celebrant, honouring these stories with grace and empathy, gives me the privilege of helping people through pivotal life changing moments.
Faye Cox is a Civil Celebrant and can be contacted on 07968 381793 or at fayecox40@gmail.com.
